Low blood sugar

Posada La Poza, Todos Santos, BCS, November 8, 2007

Okay, I have to tell you: This place sucks.

I have never had such indifferent hosts at a “boutique hotel” and paid so much for the privilege. No offers to help arrange rides to and from this mosquito-ridden swamp at the end of a long, dusty road. No suggestions of where to go or what to do. No recognition that a person without a car might need some assistance in getting to dinner on the night the restaurant is closed. Or even that you might warn her that the restaurant will be closed.

On the website and when you arrive, Juerg and Libusche promise the world, and for $265 a night, they should. But for that price they ought to deliver too. At the pool: “Just ring the bell, and the server will bring you whatever you want.” I rang the bell and no one came. Ever. At the bar, you can sit for hours and never get a drink. “Early-riser” coffee service is promised, but it isn’t set out until after 7:30. That’s early?

At the front desk, I ask: “Is the mission or church downtown open for visitors?”
Answer: “No.”
Hmmmm….. “What else might there be to see in town?”
No answer. Juerg is at the front desk, but doesn’t seem to be listening. I try again.
“Is the cultural center worth seeing?”
Answer: “They have some exhibits.” He turns and walks into the back room.

So here’s what I’d put on the website if I owned this place and wanted to run it like Juerg and Libusche do: “Come if you want. Drive your own car; there’s no other way to get around. And figure out what you want to do before you get here because we’re too busy to be bothered. And, by the way, our kitchen is closed on Thursday nights and the bar is almost never tended. We shut off the wi-fi when we want to. We turn it back on when we want to. If you think you can run the place better, go right ahead. We don’t care.”

Breakfast is served from 8 until 10. This morning I arrived shortly after 8, and Libusche curtly told me I couldn’t sit in the dining room yet. “We aren’t ready.” The tables were set and the lights were on, but dammit, I wasn’t going to sit in there until she was ready for me. So, I sat at the bar while she answered e-mails. Then, the magic moment arrived and I could enter. As far as I could tell, the only difference was it was now 10 minutes after 8 instead of 5 minutes after.

Here’s what I want to say to Libusche and Juerg: Folks, I imagine that it is hard to run a B&B. It’s a 7-day a week (or six-and-a-half, in your case) job, 52 weeks of the year. But you knew that. If you don’t want to do it, sell the place. Find someone who does. Anyone who is paying $265 a night for a hotel room deserves better than you can deliver.

I’ll tell you this: if I ever get out of here, I’ll never come back. But given the level of “service” around here, I may never find a ride out. Perhaps the Hotel California’s motto has moved from its namesake in town to out here: “You can check out, but you can never leave.” Now that would be hell.

Pasado La Poza, Todos Santos, BCS, November 9, 2007

Now that my blood sugar is approaching normal, having had breakfast, I should add a little perspective. This is not a place for singles, except those who really need a lot of time alone – like all day and night – to study or read or examine their navel. It is also certainly not a place for those who don’t want to drive in Mexico. Those two things should be made clear on the hotel’s website and in its marketing materials.

Last night, after realizing the restaurant was closed, I ate Cracker Jack and mini-Pringles out of the mini-bar in my room. I hate both. Because the bugs at night are thicker than molasses, I couldn’t go outside, and because the bar and restaurant were closed, my only option was my room. I couldn’t go into town, as there was no way to get there in the dark.

Now, if I want to stay in my room and read a book and eat junk food, I can do that at home. A $265 a night hotel room in Mexico is not the place. But, when I reserved this place, and told Juerg that I would not be driving, he did not say one word about the isolation here. He knew I’d be stuck, but he let me come anyway. I think that is bad guest relations.

And about the service: Although I've had better service a Ramada Inns on the interstate, at times Libusche is okay - she will stop and talk and even offer assistance. Juerg must just have too much to do. I find him obsequious at times, totally rude at others.

There are people who love it here. This morning I met Marshall and Carolyn, two bankers from Southern California who have a home near Cabo San Lucas. They are here for the third time, and say they like to come here for the first two days of every trip to Baja to relax before returning to the craze of Los Cabos. But they drive, of course. They can get into town to get dinner. And there are two of them. They can row out to the beach together and watch whales or simply gape at the huge breakers. They can talk.

Yesterday, I walked into town, looked around, had lunch and walked back. I was going to take a cab back to the hotel, but the driver wanted about $10 to take me the mile and a half, and I decided that was crazy. (Like a $265 room isn’t?) I tried to buy some jewelry, but earrings that should sell for $5 were priced at $20. How do you even begin to bargain from there?

I nearly bought two antique retablos – the hand-painted “muchas gracias” to saints or to Jesus or to the Virgin for miracles that saved lives or horses or whatever – but had to abort the transaction. Here, many things carry the same sign - $ - for both pesos and for dollars. When the peso is 1/10th the value of the dollar, it should be obvious which is intended on the price tag. When it isn’t obvious, something is horrendously overpriced. I thought the retablos were 190 pesos each, but the vendor wanted $190 each! After he had wrapped them up for me and presented me with the bill, all I could do was back out of the store and apologize.

“But they’re antiques,” he said. “Did you think they would be only $19?” Well, yes, I did.

I had a nice massage under a tent on the beach today. It was one thing that has not been overpriced – only $75 for 90 minutes. It was a nice massage, too. I feel much more relaxed. But then, relaxing hasn’t really been the issues here.